


Green Sleeves

by WriteDreamLie



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: But I figured before the end of the year would do, Happy New Year!, I meant to post this closer to Christmas, M/M, Not gonna label this a one shot yet, There's more if I ever end up editing it, This one's not actually based on a musical though so that's new for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 02:17:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13226082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriteDreamLie/pseuds/WriteDreamLie
Summary: Ed helps Oswald escape an awkward situation, by utilizing another awkward situation. Or...The Christmas kiss Oswald never saw coming.





	Green Sleeves

“Green sleeves was all my joy; green sleeves was my delight!”

  
“Shut up, Ed!”

He’d been singing along to the stupid Christmas carol since the GCPD had busted into the jewelry shop and cuffed the lot of us ten minutes ago. How the hell long was this song anyway?

“Did you know,” he said, finally giving his singing voice a break, “that this song isn’t actually a Christmas carol, but a ballad written for King Henry VIII’s late wife Anne Boleyn?”

“Riveting.” I stumbled as the cop holding my cuffed hands behind me shoved me forward another foot.

He began humming along with the song. I hoped his captor would push him away from me, but he did nothing of the sort. It seemed it was worth the amusement to keep us together, seething.

It was no surprise that he’d fixated on this song. It fit his aesthetic so nicely. His own sleeves were a shining, shimmering green reminiscent of a monochrome peacock. The style was familiar though; it looked a bit like the one I’d bought for him once upon a time.

Once upon a very long time ago, before this rivalry began.

It had seemed like an innocent enough fight, but when he left, he didn’t return. My feelings spurned, I threw myself into my work. And, as if in spite, he did the same.

The problem was, we were still in the same business.

And so it was that we found ourselves in this situation. Both planning to rob the same jewelry store on the same lovely, chilly December night. How were we to know that one of us had tripped the silent alarm, while the other had been spotted on his way here and followed?

I’ll leave the guessing of who did which to you.

“You know, there’s something beautiful about writing a ballad after such a rejection as Henry VIII suffered at the hands of Anne Boleyn.”

I tried to ignore him, but it was difficult with him being led so close to me. I was close enough even to see a slight bulge in his cheek. Had one of these fiends in blue gotten a hit in before they cuffed him?

Served him right, the bastard.

“As a king, he could, and did, simply force Anne to marry him anyway,” he said. Now that I’d noticed the lump, I became aware of a slight impediment to his speech, as if the cheek were swollen on the inside too.

He looked at me and smiled, his teeth a blinding white.

_Charming bastard_ , I amended.

“Of course, today we’d have applauded his moving on. You can’t capture the heart of someone you’ve literally captured in a cage. It’s best, really, to give them the tools to free themselves instead.”

I thought the phrasing was a bit odd, and was about to say so as bitterly as I could manage, when Ed suddenly lunged forward, wrenching his hands free of the grip of the cop behind him, and ran forward several long, lanky steps.

But to my surprise, he didn’t keep running. Instead, he halted suddenly, turned on his heel, and fell to one knee just as my cop was pushing me forward with one hand, the other reaching for her gun.

“Like so,” Ed said as I reached him.

He leaned forward and shoved his lips against mine.

It was not the first kiss I’d wanted from him, back when I did want such things. And I didn’t anymore, I assured myself, even as I leaned in. This is not what I wanted at all, I thought to myself as his tongue ran across my lips quickly, and they parted to allow entrance.

It wasn’t until I tasted the warm, sharp tang of metal and bit down on something hard that I finally pulled away, lip curling in disgust.

I’d have spat an insult at him, but it was all I could do to hold on to the gift.

Ed’s cop pulled him back to his feet. Mine pulled me to a stop and let them rush ahead, finally deciding we shouldn’t be led around so close together.

Too late, I wanted to say.

Ed leaned back and barely managed to look at me over his cop’s shoulder. “Merry Christmas, Oswald!” he yelled back.

I watched as he was pulled away from me and shoved roughly into one of the waiting police vehicles before my cop saw fit to push me forward again.

Safely shoved into my own official cop car, the doors locked tightly, I turned my head and spat the key onto the broken leather seat. The teeth looked wrong, pointing out at all angles, and I wondered if this was actually some sort of trick.

I turned my back to it to better grab it with my cuffed hands. It took some jiggling, but finally they oddly-shaped key fit easily into the cuffs. I was free seconds later.

_Charming, clever bastard._

I unlocked the other cuff and threw them to the ground. The key I decided was worth keeping, and tucked it into an inner pocket of my coat.

It was a lovely gift. I’d have to give Ed one just as lovely in return.

I scrambled back out of the car as soon as the coast was clear; both Ed and I had brought plenty of goons, after all, and they’d all need to be rounded up before we could depart for the GCPD.

Which gave me ample time to search out Ed’s cop car and confirm that he’d escaped too.

Good. That meant I’d be able to find him myself.

It was time we had a proper chat, just the two of us. And I knew just where to find him.


End file.
